Chemical EX

Dear Ex - Crush,

I hate you.
You have both good and bad points.
I'm over you.
I really, really hate you; and no offence to the word hate. I really don't mean to put you in the same sentence as the jerk who I am addressing this to, but it can't be helped.
Sometimes I go, aww, come on, the guy needs a life; let 'em go. It wasn't his fault.
And sometimes I go 'GET LOST'

You know what I really dislike about you? It's how you LIE to me. All you ever seem to tell me are lies. Man up - seriously, tell the truth! I'm not going to eat ye' up!
Secondly, are you sick? Do you need some medicine, poppet? Because I think you do.
You seem to have been afflicted with a disease called Womanizitis.
Main symptoms are:
- Lying to girls and women to save face
- Flirting all over the place
- Falling in 'lurve' with an axolotl
- At the same time flirting with other lasses
- Flirting with an old flames best friend, while at the same time trying to sweet - talk another lass into obedience

Man, you need treatment. Badly. Instantly. Get lost.
***
And the thing is, I'm not nasty enough to actually punch you in the face. I'm not sure whether I'm right, or wrong. You might be a nice person. I'm probably biased. You have many good things about you: you're charismatic, confident, a great talker, involved. However:

That rabbit has a pleasant face
But his private life is a disgrace
I really could not tell to you
The awful things that rabbits do!

But I do know that you hurt me badly. And you'll never know just how much the pain is.

The paranoid lass from your supposed nightmares,
Me.