What Happened Today, and a Rant -.-

A really idiotic game I played on Friday night while I was dead bored -.- Look, I saved the rabbit!

Uneventful day.
Rolled out of bed after a great internal debate on whether or not I even wanted to go down for breakfast, then realised it would be my last breakfast for quite a while so food won, as usual. I really should be more careful with my eating habits...but oh well, it can't be helped.

Tried to work on my history project by opening the big fat book (okay it's not even fat -.-) on the history of chess. It's actually pretty interesting. Damn, this school doesn't even have ANYONE like Nick who can play chess with me....

After lunch started on the next phase of my apparently 'epic' oil painting with linseed oil...and for some reason or other, just felt like turning the moss green base to black...and tore up the wings and spattered them with blood. After I'd finished, I was just like:' what the hell...' I really couldn't quite register that I'd actually paint something like that in my life...great, now it looks like I hate everyone and hate the world and hate myself now.
Once it dries I'll just discreetly put it away in my folder and never look at it ever again, and I don't want to either. Gee, when Mum sees this she's sure to think I have issues -.-

After that, took out the black paper I'd bought from the art shop for the whole light - and - shadow idea I had all planned for the weekend, but the red paint spattered on the desk kind of made me feel like retching so scrapped that. Eh...and to think I'd actually entertained the idea of ever being a doctor -.- Spent the rest of the afternoon scrubbing Crimson montemarte off the desk, clothes and hair. I guess light - and - shadow will have to postponed for a later day.

I guess I'll never be doing this, then.

Went out for dinner with an interesting couple...and I actually felt like smiling the first time today when they started telling us about the bus culture in Azerbaijan :D For some reason I didn't actually feel like talking at all and just sat and listened.

Chatted with Bonnie after a while today. Apparently her brother banned internet as it was capped... what a demon. She moaned a bit about not wanting to remain in the advanced maths class any longer LOL. I was secretly thinking: 'I'd love that too...' and I was likE: 'get maths help from Juhyung Lee' and she was likE: 'what HIM????' Apparently all he says now is: 'Hi, how do you do, HAVE YOU VOTED FOR ME?' o.O
Read the paper today after a while. Apparently hols are starting on the 4th of August...Tusi, you'd better be online. I have so much to tell you!

*ALERT, I AM GOING TO GO INTO DRAMA QUEEN/RANT MODE NOW, IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT GO AWAY AND DON'T READ ANY FURTHER THANKS*
But then again what difference would it make? Sorry to be such an 'emo' Mary - Sue...but what difference does it make? There's not a single idiot who's going to understand what I try to tell them...all they do is:
a) nod
b) 'it's going to be fine'
c) 'hey listen...I really need to get this off my che - ' 'Guess what I did on the weekend!!!'
I HATE THOSE PEOPLE I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU ABOUT. BUT I ALSO LOVE THESE PEOPLE AND THAT'S WHY IT HURTS SO BADLY T___T

Can't someone, ANYONE fix this for me? I'm so bloody effing TIRED of bearing the brunt of my thoughts alone for so long. I know it's a bit of a stretch to demand instant help, but I feel like no-one even bleeding tries. It's happened three times already...I really don't want it to happen a fourth time now, but it's happening NOW. NO ONE SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND ANYTHING *pant-pant*
(ps it's not as horrible as it looks. I'm just being a moody dummy. Maybe not.)
The best advice I got the other day from a random?
'Just stay away from people. Don't, for heavens sake, DO NOT get attached to them'
Marvellous. Just one teeny issue with that.
It's too late.

~After the lights go out on you 

After your worthless life is through 

I will remember how you scream 

I can't afford to care~